2.5 + epsilon + delta

(A Gchat sound)
Who the fuck is that, waking me up! it better be a chick or a dude with some damn good reason to ping me while i was sleeping.
(i get up and check it, half awake)
Hari! the bastard! how to go to eiffel tower? bend yourself till your head is in your ass, thats how! bloody bastard! cmi-tes who havent heard of google should be stripped off their degree! anyways, what time is it? 3 PM. hmm, maybe its time for me to get up. maybe i should finish the movie i fell asleep watching last night. what was its name? damn! i must remember to not forget things. (checking through varous tabs). ah yes! Mr. Nobody. i think it started off pretty well, but it had got boring by the time i dozed off.
ah, i feel too shitty. lets put some good music. damn, cant think of anything i havent already heard a 100 times! ah heck, who cares, let me listen to rolling stones for the 101st time! i need to roll a cigarette too, to facilitate the bowel movement! rahul doesnt believe me but i am sure the connection between smoking and shitting is pretty deep. smoke is like a declencher. today, lets try weed instead. ah, rolling stones, perenially good. even for the 101st time! damn, i’ve put too much weed in the joint. ah hell, the day has just begun, no harm!
(i move to the toilet stamping over dirty clothes and other stuff lying on the ground. i accidentally break a broken hanger, the thing one uses to hang clothes. i dont hang clothes, so i dont need them.) bosey had a nice blogpost about doing pot while sitting on the pot if i remember right. (sits on the pot). oh man, rolling stones!! what would life be without them! (i light the joint and shit immediately). and yet another experimental proof of my theory! smoke is a declencher! woah, first cigarette with the first joint of the day hits you like a bitch!
(silence in the head.)
Oh man! I am so cool. Its a pity noone could see me like this. but well, my coolness is canonical or whatever word balaji had taught us for god given.
cool? you’re crazy dude! you wake up at 3 pm, you dont open the windows you play rolling stones, and roll a joint. then you shit out 4 eggs you ate last night when high on weed while inhaling another dose of tobacco + weed and to top it all off, having a conversation with yourself! you call that cool? i call it crazy!
I’m crazy? only crazy people call cool people crazy!! who’s crazy now bitch? anyways, there’s no point fighting, we both know that we’re just one, lets just call ourselves half cool half crazy. alright?

alright, half cool, half crazy, but i’m the cool part!

nope, you cant be cool if you call me crazy, hence you’re crazy, get it?

alright alright, whatever! i am too stoned to argue!

(awkward silence)

you guys are crazy to think that a man can be half crazy half cool you know. its just not possible!

who the fuck are you? anyways, let us delude ourselves! atleast that way we can both reside in one brain!

i’m the cynic, and i think its impossible for cool and crazy to remain together.

whatever you say man, you’re the cynic. think what you want. noone gives a damn about you anyway. if we’d heard you during the great sperm race, all of us wouldn’t even have been here in the first place. we are all just part of one fucking complicated brain which is high on weed.

why am i trying anyway? i knew its futile to even talk to you guys!

awkward silence

a feeble voice : all you guys are still crazy!

a feebler voice : look who’s talking. its you who’s still crazy!